The beginning

Read an article on Abrahamic religions, and I learned Christian's perspective on the prophet Ibrahim a.s. As the article goes, Ibrahim is the first prophet to find God amidst polytheism through rationalism.  In other words, the prophets and muslims before him are likely to have submitted to God because of direct teachings, but of course God knows better. I'm just guessing. It's 3:30 in the morning.

If I have to give my opinion, I think I chose God out of rationalism. My parents are likely through heritage. My siblings? I don't know so sure. The brother just before me is probably heritage as well, but I'm pretty sure the two others after me are also through rationalism, even though right now they're still in their rebellious age. I used to accept God out of heritage, then God made me go through things that made me rationalize things out, to sort things out, and I found God again through rational thinking. It gives me the strength to believe. When I had it by heritage, I could still believe but it was largely blinded. I would deny everything else that opposed what I was taught. Even after I found God through rationality, I still had my heart partially blinded and I didn't see that. I knew something was wrong and didn't know what to do about it, but knowing God I prayed for the blindness to go away. Almost a year ago God gave me the experience that opened my eyes. Now I'm gradually opening, there are still blind spots but I've finally learned how to open up, and how not to open up too much. Just the right amount.

Personally I don't think it's wrong to believe in God because you inherited the believe. After all, God says so so why should I go against that decision? There are many people who chose to believe in religion just as how they chose to live defending their cultures and traditions. But I admit I like people who found, or re-found God after thinking thoroughly over and over again. Yes it's mostly based on thinking rather than emotion, but we have emotions as well. That's how it was. First I only had emotions, that was the time when I followed God by tradition. Then when I re-found God I had mostly thinking and lack of empathy. And last year I found God again with both. Looking back at me and people around me, and looking at how we grew up and how we changed, I learned how great God is at arranging this system and completing it without fault. The great thing about God's creation, humans, is that they evolve in not only physically but also psychologically! We do not do it on our own, we evolve thanks to those before us, our ancestors and the changes they brought about little by little, and of course thanks to God. I used to want things settled fast, for wars to end soon, but now I'm starting to understand the meaning of patience and experience. Isn't it magnificent how God created this world full of happiness and sadness, then life and death all for the sake of training us for the real world which is the next? What if Adam and Eve never ate the forbidden fruit and bred on heaven? No one would know the meaning of anger nor frustration. Some people think no one deserves to feel any of that, but if we could grow from knowing that, then isn't it a good thing?

Have you ever thought why God even bothered to create devils? In fact they were created before us, except that before we were created they were fairly nice fellas, probably. I find a lot of people nowadays, and in the past too, asking that if God is compassionate, why create calamity and destruction? Why give birth to tyrants and take away the lives of newborn babies in the most inhumane ways? A lot of us believers get questions like that, don't we. Isn't that exactly why we have the duty to spread out the word so that they would understand? They are searching, just like we were during those early days. They need to know what they should know. We have to tell them the hadeeth where God mentioned that if God wished, God could make all mankind and jinns become the pious among the pious. Or if God wished, God could give all mankind and jinns every single thing they wish for without God Hemself losing anything at all. On the other hand, God could also make everyone disobey and turn against Hem and still God won't lose anything. Somehow it sounds like beating around the bush, but they main point is the right to create good and evil is in God's powers, and God knows better. Haven't you heard of the stories of angels, how much they love God and yet God loves the prophets more? Just because someone can be happy, doesn't mean se can make someone else happy.

God is always making Hes creations happy through a way or another. Although angels don't ask for more, humans are always asking for more. But that's okay, to God it is a simple task, not even enough to be called a task even. Angels have no problem to coexist since they don't have desires, but humans do. Angels don't make each other sad, but humans do. The source of sadness and frustration is God Hemself, but humans are taught how to overcome it. Don't we have the joy of making someone else happy, a joy that no other creation has? It is a pleasure to be a human. Do you remember the story when God created Intelligence and Desire? I'm not sure whether this story is true or not, but this is how it went. When God created Intelligence, Se asked the Intelligence; "Who are you and who am I?" To this Intelligence replied; "You are God and I am your humble servant." Then God created Desire and asked the same question, but Desire arrogantly replied; "You are you, and I am me." Of course God knows beforehand, but still for others to learn God throws the Desire into the hottest of all hells for a thousand years, then asked the same question. The Desire gave the same reply and was thrown into the coldest of all hells for another thousand of years but still refused to give the right answer. Finally after se was thrown in the hell of hunger, se repented and admitted God's powers. Through hadeeths we learned that now hell is surrounded by things that desires like while heaven is surrounded by things that desires hate. But that doesn't mean desire will like the thing inside hell itself or hate the thing inside heaven itself. It is all up to us to choose.

Of course that doesn't mean we can't get married, have children, and eat like normal people. I don't know what the exact meaning of desire is, but there is no win against desire if we simply refuse to eat and sleep just because it is a part of desire. Our bodies obviously need those things. God has taught us that we need those things and we have to take those things except in certain circumstances. Another thing God taught us that in everything, too much will be poison. Too much food is poison, too much sleep is poison, even too much pray is poison. We are created with bodies that need nutrients and rest to live. Unless there's a good reason behind it, did you really think God will like it if we refuse to eat the fruits on the trees that we grew and let it rot just so we could fast forever and ever? We are meant to be fair to everyone, every single being, and our bodies need to be treated fairly too.

Have you ever thought what it means to love someone after being able to love and devote yourself to God? Learn to love and accept, it's another evolution.